
ETHEL M. KELLEY 


FT MEADE 
GenCol 1 


Picfm J esJ>y ~ MAUD HUNT SQUIRE- 


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COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 






WHEN I 




WAS LITTLE 


I 



If the san'man weady, 
Why he doesn't come? 


Page 25 



WHEN 

WAS LITTLE 

By 

Ethel M. Kelley 


Illustrated by 

Maud Hunt Squire 


RAND McNALLY 
& COMPANY 





Copyright, 1915, by 
Ethel M. Kelley 



© Y)e ^anb-JJlcUrtUij 

Chicago 


fO 1915 



A 




CI.A398761 

* 4 / 























CONTENTS 



PAGE 

The Middle Child n 

Make B’lieve 13 

The Baby 14 

In the Park 17 

The Wuffled Dwess 20 

The Sunday Little Boys ......... 22 

Hush-a-by 25 

A Little Girl that Mother Knows . . . . . .26 

Dolly 30 

At School 32 

Look Out 36 

Baby Knows 40 

Busy-ness 42 


7 


8 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 


Expected . . . . . . 44 

The Arrival 46 

A Point of View 49 

? I’ve Got a Dog 52 

Time 54 

Why 56 

Out to Sea 58 

The Numbers 61 

Indifference 62 

On Being Ten 65 

A Resolve 68 

To Mother: Out of Town 71 

A Letter from the Farm .... 75 

From Auntie’s 78 

A Boy’s Letter . . .81 

Soliloquy 84 

When 86 

Bedtime 88 

Who 90 

The Telephone ... ox 



When I was little and aloner 
My dreams were all of being grown; 
But now I walk about with men , 

I dream of being small again. 



Nobody thinks that I am sweet, 
'Cause I ’m the middle girl 


Page 12 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


THE MIDDLE CHILD 

Whenever there is company 
And mother sends for us 
It’s always ’bout the baby that 
They make the biggest fuss. 

They say, “ She’s sweet as she can be!” 

‘/Her hair, just see it curl!” 

They never say such things to me, 
’Cause I’m the middle girl. 

And then they say to sister, “Why, 

Is this the oldest child?” 

“She’ll be a woman by and by!” 

And after they have smiled 
And held her hand, they look at me. 

Mamma says, “She’s begun 
To lose her teeth,” and then they laff — 
’Cause I ’m the middle one. 


11 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 

Then baby speaks her little piece, 
And sister’s asked to sing, 

But no one ever seems to guess 
That I do anything. 

Although my name is Marguerite, — 
And Marguerite means “Pearl,”— 
Nobody thinks that I am sweet, 
’Cause I ’m the middle girl. 

When I grow up and when I have 
A family of my own, 

I’ll send up for the middle girl 
To come downstairs alone; 

And I shall let her speak and sing, 
And have a lot of fun — 

I’ll not deny her anything, 

’Cause she’s the middle one. 


WHEN I tkAS LITTLE 


13 



MAKE B’LIEVE 

Make b’lieve I was your dearest dear, 
And came, and climbed into your lap; 
Make b’lieve I was so “comfy” here 
I did n’t need to take my nap. 

Make b’lieve you singed a little song 
That told about the pretty sheep; 
Make b’lieve it was n’t very long 
Before — your — baby — fell — asleep. 


14 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


THE BABY 

I use’ to be the baby 
Tore th’ other baby came; 

I did n’t know that maybe 
I would have to change my name. 

But now I’m only “Brother”; 

He’s “Mother’s-precious-pet.” 

(I guess she’s stayed my mother, 

But I have n’t ast her yet.) 

I thought when he was cornin’ 

That I wouldn’t mind at all; 

I thought we’d set things hummin’ 
When he got through bein’ small. 

I thought before we knew it 
We’d be chummy as could be; 

But I ain’t agoin’ to do it, 

’Cause he is n’t nice to me. 




I use ’ to be the baby 
'Fore th ' other baby came 




i6 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


I must n’t even hold him 
Les’ he drops on to the floor, 

An’ it does n’t do to scold him— 

It just starts him on to roar. 

I am goin’ on to seven, 

And I go to bed alone; 

But I wish he'd stayed in Heaven 
Till he got a little grown. 

P’raps some day they’ll get another. 
It would be a funny joke; 

Then he'd have to be the brother 
An’ be told his nose was broke. 

It would start him yellin’, maybe, 
But I’d tell him just the same 

That he could n’t be the baby 
When the other baby came. 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


17 


IN THE PARK 

Yes, sir, she's my little sister — 

Give the gentleman your hand; 

Say, “I thank you kindly, mister." 

She's too small to understand — 

If you get down in the dirt, you 
Won’t be fit for anything; 

No, the gentleman won’t hurt you, 

An’ he ain’t a “naughty sing." 

Yes, sir, keeps me pretty busy — 

Come, show sister what you’ve found. 

Baby will get awful dizzy 
If she keeps on turning 'round. 

Sister give the baby “biqquie" 

If she’ll show us how to dance — 

I’m afraid her hands are sticky 
That she’s wipin’ on your pants. 

Yes, sir, I ’m the oldest daughter, 

An’ I ’m goin’ on to ten — 

Tell her that she had n’t oughter 
Get your watchchain out again — 


WHEN I 1YAS LITTLE 


Must n’t put your dirty paddy 
On the gentleman’s clean cuff. 

No, you mustn’t call him “ daddy” — 
Ain’t you been here long enough? 

Yes, sir, guess we must be going — 
Tell the gentleman good-by. 

Now your petticoat is showing; 

There’s a winker in your eye — 
Sorry that she tore your collar — 
Sister take you in the car — 

Now, I s’pose she ’s bound to holler 
Till I get her home to Mar. 




Tell her that she had n't oughier 
Get your watchchain out again 


20 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


THE WUFFLED DWESS 



I want my dwess with wuffles, 

And I want my new straw hat, 
And I have n’t got the snuffles, 
And I ain’t a fussy-cat, 

And I will not take my Teddy, 
And I will not take my doll, 
And no one can get me weady 
To go anywhere at all. 

And I won’t be spick and spandy, 
And I did not lose my cap, 

And I want some chocolate candy, 
And I shall not miss my nap, 
And I will not wear my bonnet, 
And I will not look at that, 

And I ain’t a sittin’ on it, — 

And I want my new straw hat! 


And I will not stop my kickin’, 
And I ain’t a little tike, 

And I do not need a lickin’, 
And I don’t do what I like, 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


And I won’t be quiet, maybe, 
And I ain’t wore out, I guess, 
And I ain’t a naughty baby, — 
But I want my wuffled dwess! 



22 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



THE SUNDAY LITTLE BOYS 

On Sunday morning there are rows, 

All up and down the street, 

Of people in their Sunday clothes, 

So orderly and neat. 

The world is very sweet and still, 

And no one makes a noise, 

For Sam, and Joe, and Tom, and Will 
Are Sunday little boys. 

Their hair is parted very straight, 

Their faces shiny clean! 

They have a very steady gait — 

A very sober mien. 

They hold their chins up stern and stiff, 
And think about their looks; 



They hold their chins up stern and stiff , 
And think about their looks 


24 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


The Sunday boys all seem as if 
They lived in story books. 

Their hats are even on the head, 
Their hands are by the side, 

Their pockets spare and thin, instead 
Of bulging full and wide. 

There has been given every one 
A hanky square and white, 

To wipe his Sunday face upon, 

When Sunday skies are bright. 

They do not whistle, do not play, 
They do not sing or shout, 

But manfully upon their way 
Go trudging, strong and stout. 

Oh! All the world is still and sweet, 
And no one makes a noise, 

When all the boys upon the street 
Are Sunday little boys. 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


25 


HUSH-A-BY 

Awfu’ tired baby 
All alone in bed, 

Muvver cornin' maybe 
When I s’eep, she said. 

Wis’ I had my Teddy, 

Guess I suck my fum’ — 

If the san’ man weady, 

Why he does n’t come? 

Light goes “twinkle, twinkle,” 
“Lord, my soul to take,” 
Nightie in a w’inkle; 

All my piggies ache. 

Now I los’ my cover — 

Froat is gettin’ dry, 

Muvver, muvver, muvver , 

Put me hush-a-by! 



26 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



A LITTLE GIRL THAT MOTHER KNOWS 

A little girl that mother knows 
Went traveling abroad. 

The people that she met were those 
Of speech and manner odd: 

In Paris they were loveliest, 

And most polite in Spain; 

But what that little girl liked best 
Was coming home again! 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


27 


This little girl that mother knows 
Went even to Japan, 

Where all the ladies dressed in clothes 
Like figures on a fan. 

They fed her dainties one by one, 

As if she were a doll; 

And oh! that little girl had fun 
Remembering it all. 

The little girl that mother knows 
Saw other girls and boys — 




28 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


In Ireland, where the Shamrock grows; 

In Deutschland, with the toys. 

She saw them dance the Highland Fling; 

She heard them sing in Rome. 

The children more than anything 
Reminded her of home. 

The little girl that mother knows 
Is very much like me, 

For if I went abroad, I s’pose, 

“ Strange countries for to see,” 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


29 



Though I might travel east and west, 
Wherever I might roam 
The thing that I should like the best 
Would just be getting home! 


30 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


DOLLY 

I took my dolly out of bed 
And hung her on the window blind, 

And left her there heels over head, — 

But Dolly — Dolly doesn’t mind. 

I frowed my dolly on the ground 
And left her in the cold and wet, 

And it was days she was n’t found, — 

But Dolly — Dolly does n’t fret. 

I painted her all blue and black 
And cutted off her lovely hair, 

And broke her up and down her back, — 

But Dolly — Dolly does n’t care. 

And everybody scolds at me, 

And says, “Poor Dolly! What a shame!” 

But I don’t care a bit, you see, — 

For Dolly — Dolly’s just the same. 



I cutted off her lovely hair. 

But Dolly — Dolly does n’t care 






32 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



AT SCHOOL 

I like to sit in school and look 
At all the girls I know, 

When every head above a book 
Is bending very low. 

They're all so much alike, you see, 
And yet so different, too, — 

For some have eyes of brown, like me, 
And some have eyes of blue. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


33 


And some have shiny, flaxen hair, 
And others brown or black; 

Some wear it short, and others wear 
Two pigtails down the back; 

And some have bows of ribbon gay— 
Hair parted on the side — 

But every girl likes best the way 
Some other’s hair is tied. 




— — 



Y c » 


/ like to sit in school and look 
At all the girls I know 


Page 32 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


35 


When we’re admiring Marguerite, 

Whose braids are long and fine, 

She says she thinks that curls are sweet, 
Like Josephine’s or mine. 

But Josephine and I believe 
Straight hair is lovelier, 

And look at Marguerite, and grieve 
We are not more like her. 

Just think, if all the little girls 
Could, wishing, change their state, 
Then all the pigtails would be curls, 

And all the curls be straight; 

And I should look like Marguerite, 

And Marguerite like me; 

And every day at school we ’d meet — 
How funny it would be! 



36 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



LOOK OUT 

Look out! Look out! An engine train 
Is coming at you down the track! 

And you would get an awful pain 
If it should hit you in the back. 

An' ain't you scared as you can be? 

An' can’t you hear it puff and smoke? 
You did n't know ’ t was only me 
Jus ’ playing engine for a joke ! 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


37 


Look out! Look out! A great, big bear 
Is creeping from behind the door! 

An’ don’t you feel an awful scare, 

Worse than you ever felt before? 

An’ don’t you hear him growl, and see 
His ’normous shadow on the wall? 

Ain't you surprised it f s only me , 

And not a great , big bear at all? 

Look out! Look out! A great, wild man 
Is going to cut you up in two, 

And put you in a cooking pan, 

And make you in a ’licious stew! 





38 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


He’ll strike you in the heart, Oh! E-e-e-e! 

My knife has got the sharpest blade. 

Now let me whisper . It y s jus ’ me! 

You need n't really be afraid! 

Look out! Look out! A hurricane 
Is goin’ to blow the roof right in! 

An’ can’t you hear the wind and rain? 

(I ought to pound upon some tin!) 
There’s goin’ to be a storm at sea, 

And after that the thunder’ll come. 

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It's only me 
A-beating on my soldier drum! 




It ’ 5 only me 

A-beating on my soldier drum l 



40 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



BABY KNOWS 

Baby gettin’ fretty; 

Muvver come an’ spat! 
Tried to put her pettie 
On the pussy-cat. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


4i 


Baby pour the water 
Down the kitty's nose. 

“ Cruel little daughter." 

Baby knows. 

Baby say in' miffin', 
Muvver come an' see — 

Eatin' up the muffin 
Nursie had for tea. 

Gettin' very crumby 
Over all her clo’es. 

“Make f er tick a tummy E 
• Baby knows. 

Baby gettin' lon'ly; 
Muvver, come and take! 

Very s'eepy — only 
Want to stay awake. 

Cuddle up to muvver — 
“Little precious rose , 

We des love an ' love her.” 

Baby knows. 


42 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


BUSY-NESS 

The world's a very busy place — 

Just look about, this minute, 

And see all in a little space 
The busy things within it! 

The kettle's busy with a tune, 

The fire is busy burning, 

And cook is busy with the spoon 
That she keeps turning, turning. 

Her shadow's busy on the wall, 

Her motions all repeating, 

While she is busy making all 
The pleasant things for eating. 

Soon appetites must busy be 
(Lest little folk grow thinner), 

And soon our knives and forks you'll see 
All busy with our dinner. 




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The cook is busy with the spoon 



44 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



It may be a girl that’s cornin’; 

It may be a boy like me. 

They oughter know, 

But ’t seems as though 
They can’t tell which ’t will be. 

There ’s a lot o’ nightgowns ready 
That wouldn’t fit the cat; 

Such teeny clothes — 

I would n’t s’pose 
’T would be as wee as that. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


45 


They say ’t will be a young one, 
But I guess I'll wait an' see; 

If they dunno yet 
What kind they’ll get, 

They dunno how old ’t will be. 

Our Farver in heavim ’ll send it — 
It seems to be kinder late; 
Wouldn’t I laugh 
If ’t was six an’ a half, 

Or maybe goin’ on eight! 

Would n’t I teach it hooky, 

An’ mumbly-peg, an’ craps! 
They seem to think 
’T will do nothin’ but drink, 

An’ sit around in their laps. 

If it really is a small one, 

I’ll show it around first-rate, 
An’ scare it some. 

I wish ’t would come! 

Seem’s if I couldn’t wait! 


46 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


THE ARRIVAL 

It's come! It's a little sister! 

It don’t look like one much; 

It’s awful red 
An' stays in bed, 

An’ no one must n’t touch. 

It’s wrinkleder than grandma. 

I love to see it grin, 

An’ watch it wink. 

I kinder think 
It’s going to lose its skin. 

It’s hungry when it hollers, 

An’ when it’s pleased it chokes. 
When you say “Boo!” 

It scratches you, 

W’ich quite dearlights the folks! 

It’s awful hard to hold it, 

It wobbles so in front, 

It is n’t stiff. 

I wonder if 
It’s real intelligunt! 


"T V ^ 



It's come! It’s a little sister ! 



48 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



They ask me how I like it, 

’N I say it’s “dretful cute.” 
They’re all so glad! 

They might feel bad 
’F I said it did n’t suit. 

I thought ’t would be so diff’rent, 
Bein’ sent down from above. 
Who thought they’d bring 
That sneezin’ thing? 

’T ain’t big enough to love! 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


49 


A POINT OF VIEW 

It’s sometimes tiresome, you see, 

To be a little boy like me; 

Because whate’er the grown-ups say, 
There's nothing for it but obey. 

Of course if I were grown up, too, 
They could not tell me what to do; 
They’d have to smile, and be polite, 
And let me do what I thought right— 
And yet the grown-ups are so strange, 

I do not think I ’d like to change. 

They seem to have such funny minds! 
What pleasure any person finds 
In staying in the house all day, 

I’d like to know! They never play! 
Think of not having any toys, 

And hating things that make a noise; 
Of going into lovely shops 
And never buying lollipops; 

Of walking, when they ought to run, — 
Of doing nothing that is fun! 


4 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


They like, I have n't any doubt, 

The stupid things they talk about. 

I never knew them to discuss 
A subject that would interest us! 
There’s nothing really in their jokes 
That would appeal to other folks. 
And even when they sit and read, 
Their books are very dull indeed. 

No fairies in them, and no elves, 

But only people like themselves. 

And when I think that I might be 
Like all the grown-ups that I see, 
Forgetting all my lovely plays, 

And getting settled in my ways, 

I think it’s better to be small 
And not to wish to grow at all; 

And what the grown-ups think is fit, 
To try to make the best of it, 

And still rejoice, whate’er they do, 
That children are not grown up, too! 



I never knew them to discuss 
A subject that would interest us! 


2 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



I’VE GOT A DOG 

I’ve got a dog. The other boys 
Have quantities of tools and toys, 

And heaps of things that I ain’t seen. 
(Ain’t saw, I mean.) 

They’ve oars and clubs and golfing sticks, 
I know a feller that has six, 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 

And gee! you ought to see him drive! 

But I’ve 

Got a dog! 

I ’ve got a dog. His name is Pete. 

The other children on our street 
Have lots of things that I ain’t got. 

(I mean, have not.) 

I know a boy that’s got a gun. 

I don’t see why they have such fun 
Playing with things that ain’t alive: 

But Eve 

Got a dog. 

I’ve got a dog, and so, you see, 

The boys all want to play with me: 

They think he’s such a cunnin’ brute. 

(I mean, so cute.) 

That’s why they leave their toys and games 
And run to us, and shout our names, 
Whenever me and Pete arrive: 

For I’ve 

Got a dog! 


54 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


TIME 

Time that I was up and out of bed, 

Time I was as busy as a bee, 

Time I split the kindlin’ in the shed — 
Always time for somethin’, 

Seems to me! 

Time I was at school an’ in the line, 

Time I started home again at three, 

Time I av’raged more than sixty-nine — 
Always time for somethin’, 

Seems to me! 

Time to go an errand to the store, 

Time to wash my face and hands for tea, 
Time to change my trousers that I tore — 
Always time for somethin’, 

Seems to me! 

Time I got my lessons for the night, 

Time I held the skein on gran’ma’s knee, 
Time that I was taught to be polite, — 
Always time for somethin’, 

Seems to me! 



Time I held the skein on grarima’s knee , 
Always time for somethin' 


56 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



Why, muvver, why 

Did God pin the stars up so tight in the sky? 
Why did the cow jump right over the moon? 

An’ why did the dish run away with the spoon — 
’Cause did n’t he like to see the cow fly? 

Why, muvver, why? 

Why, muvver, why 

Can’t little boys jump to the moon if they try? 
An’ why can’t they swim just like fishes an’ fings? 
An’ why does the live little birdies have wings, 

An’ live little boys have to wait till they die? 
Why, muvver, why? 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


57 


Why, muvver, why 

Was all of vose blackbirds all baked in a pie? 

Why could n’t we have one if we should say, “Please”? 
An’ why does it worry when little boys tease? 

An’ why can’t fings never be now — but — bime-by? 


Why, muvver, why? 


Why, muvver, why 

Does little boys’ froats always ache when they cry? 
An’ why does it stop when they’re cuddled up close? 
An’ why does the sandman do days, do you s’pose? 
An’ why do you fink he’ll be soon cornin’ by? 


Why, muvver, why? 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


58 


OUT TO TEA 

They ask me if I like to play 
With other little boys, 

An’ if my mother does not say 
I make too big a noise; 

An’ if the baby's eyes are black; 
An' if she looks like me; 

An' if somebody's cornin’ back 
To get me after tea. 

I dunno. I gesso. 

They ask me if I like to read, 
An' shall they get a book — 

One that is very nice indeed — 
Or would I d’ruther look 

At photygraphs of diff’runt kinds 
Or things upon a shelf; 

An' if my mother ever finds 
A minute to herself. 

I dunno. I gesso. 

They ask me if I d’ruther sit 
On pillows in a chair; 



Page 60 


They ask me if I 'd like to drink 
Some lovely cambric tea 


6o 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 

An’ if they’d better go an’ git 
A bib for me to wear! 

They ask me if I ’d like to drink 
Some lovely cambric tea; 

If I like cakes, an’ if I think 
I should be eatin’ three. 

I dunno. I gesso. 

They ask me if my mother likes 
To have me go to school; 

An’ if the teachers ever strike 
The scholars with a rule; 

An’ if my striped shirt is new; 
An’ am I nearly ten. 

An’ must I go, an’ am I through, 
An’ will I come again. 

I gesso. I dunno. 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE - 

THE NUMBERS 

1 think that 1 is very nice, 

It stands so straight and tall; 

2 is affected and precise — 

I don't like 2 at all! 

3 is a pleasant number, though; 
And 4 is lots of fun — 

Its shape is like a toy, you know; 
5 is a lovely one. 

6 is n’t anything but 9 
That’s standing on its head; 
And 7 drags below the line 
And won’t go where it’s led. 

I think that 8 is very sweet, 

And comfortable, and kind. 

And 9 is 6 upon its feet — 

A quiet one, I find! 

I make them all upon my slate, 
But when I get to 10 
He seems so very proud and great 
I rub him out again. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


INDIFFERENCE 

Susannah Jones, she says to me 
That I’m as mean as I can be— 

As if ’t was stingy not to play 
All Susan’s games in Susan’s way. 

I like to play the way that’s fair — 
But I don’t care. 

If Susan knew that me and Frank 
Had shook our pennies from the bank, 
And each of us had seven cents, 

She’d come on our side of the fence, 
An’ not be stayin’ over there — 

But I don’t care. 

I think it’s rude to laugh like that, 
An’ call a person “ sassy cat” 

When they’re just playing tether ball; 
An’ not to answer when they call, 

An’ not take notice of a “dare” — 

But I don’t care. 



I don't care 





64 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


If I was in the seventh grade 
I’d be a lady when I played; 

I would n’t keep on gettin’ mad, 

An’ try to make my friends feel bad, 

An’ stick my tongue at them, an’ stare — 
But I don’t care. 




WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


65 



ON BEING TEN 

I’m very nearly grown, you see. 

Next birthday I’ll be ten, 

And I suppose that life will be 
Oh, very different, then! 
Though being nine is very nice, 
And you do pleasant things, 

I think at ten there will be twice 
As many happenings. 

I think you give your toys away, 
You feel so nearly grown; 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


You’re very quiet at your play, 

You go downtown alone. 

There’s lots of things you do, I s’pose 
That I don’t even know — 

Oh, dear, when anybody grows, 

It is so awful slow! 

But would n’t it be very strange, 
When I was truly ten, 

If I should think I ’d like to change 
To nine years old again? 

Of course it always seems to me 
To be ten would be fine! 

But do you think I ’ll ever be 
Just homesick to be nine? 



I 'm very nearly grown, you see. 
Next birthday I 'll be ten 


Page 6s 



68 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



A RESOLVE 

I ’ve got a older brother, 

And another one that’s new. 

Got a father an’ a mother, 

And a cat and kittens, too. 

An’ I ’ve got a’ Uncle Hewitt, 

An’ I ’ve got a Cousin Sam. 

They don’t know I ’m goin’ to do it, — 
But I 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


69 


I’m goin* through the garden, 

An’ I’m goin’ out the gate; 

An’ I shan’t beg no one’s pardon, 
Or come back when it is late. 

I ’ll take off my big lace collar, 

An’ I ’ll paint some whiskers on, 
An’ I ’ll take my silver dollar, 

An’ be 
gone! 



70 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


I guess I’ll be a cowboy, 

Or a sailor, or a cop; 

An' no one can tell me, “Now, boy, 

It is time that you should stop!” 

An’ I’ll earn a lot o’ money, 

And be famous where I go; 

An’ I guess they'll all feel funny 
When they 
know. 

I don’t mind when they “ correct” me 
For a lot of things I say, 

For, of course, they can’t expect me 
To remember, every day. 

I don’t mind it when they scold me 
’Cause I ’m naughty or I ’m “soiled” — 

But they had n’t oughter told me 
I was 

spoiled ! 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


7i 



Dear Mother: 

It makes me feel queerly 
To write you this letter to-night, 

When it seems, or it seems pretty nearly, 

That you’re somewhere around out of sight. 
I can hardly believe you’re not sitting 
Upstairs (though I know you are not), 

Just doing your mending or knitting. 

I miss you a lot. 


72 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


I wish I had some news to tell you. 

I’m not doing much that is sport. 
I’m getting my lessons so well you 
Will smile when you see my report. 
I ’ve had a bad cold, but I ’m better. 

I wasn’t to tell — I forgot. 

Please write me a very long letter. 

I miss you a lot. 



We’re getting on nicely without you. 

Do you think you are coming home soon? 
Your friends all keep asking about you. 

The cook burned the pudding at noon, 
And Saturday night our dog Fido 
Got pretty well beaten by Spot. 

He mopes ’round the house just as I do — 

I miss you a lot. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


73 


Last week Billie Evans’s father 
Came home, and he brought him a gun. 

I think if ’t was me I would rather 
Have skates, for I think they’re more fun. 
The kisses will count up to thirty 
If you reckon a kiss for each blot. 

Heaps of love, 

From your little son, Bertie. 

P. S. I miss you a lot. 




I help feed the pigs 


WHEN I ITAS LITTLE 


75 



A LETTER FROM THE FARM 

Dear Mother: I got here on Monday. 

I’m having a whole lot of fun. 

I rode on the hay all of one day; 

I freckled all up in the sun. 

There’s cows and there’s bees making honey, 
And a calf that is awfully queer. 

I help feed the pigs — they’re so funny! 

I wish you was here. 

My appetite’s “truly alarming,” 

So grandmamma says. I eat some! 

I help them a lot with the farming — 

I guess it is lucky I come. 

I get in the eggs, and I ’m learning 
To milk — I can milk, pretty near, 

And morning I help with the churning — 

I wish you was here. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



Please send me my two baseball mittens, 
Please send me my drum, don’t forget! 
The cat has five beautiful kittens, 

They have n’t their eyes open yet. 

The weather is perfectly splendid, 

The skies are so blue and so clear. 

I tore my best pants, but they’re mended 
I wish you was here. 


‘ WHEN I 1FAS LITTLE 


I work with the man that is hired, 

I go with him round everywhere; 
At night I’m so dreadfully tired 
I most fall asleep in my chair. 
Except that I get awful dirty 
I try to be good, mother dear. 
Love to all, 

From your little son, Bertie 
P. S. I wish you was here. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


FROM AUNTIE’S 

Dear Father and Sisters and Mother 
(Especially mother): It’s night. 

S’cuse pen, I can’t ask for another; 

It would n’t be hardly polite. 

I got here at noon, and they met me — 

Aunt Fannie and Teddy and Will — 

It took all the family to get me. 

There’s so much to tell! 

For dinner we had roasted chicken 
And all the ice cream we could eat, 

And a cake with the plums very thick in 
For me, a surprise and a treat. 

I wish that you all might have shared it — 
Especially mother — ’T was fine; 

I’d have begged her a piece, had I dared it, 
Or sent to her mine. 

We think we’ll go skating to-morrow; 

Don’t worry, it’s not deep at all. 

Ted knows some good skates I can borrow — 
I left mine at home in the hall. 



We had all the ice cream we could eat 


8o 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


This house is so big and so pretty 
I wish you were here, every one 
(Especially mother). A city 
To live in is fun. 

I shall sleep in the blue room by Teddy 
Alone, but I guess I shan’t care; 

Aunt Fanny says, “ Bedtime, be ready.” 

I ’ll ask her to stay for my prayer. 
Much love, and for all of you, kisses 
(Especially mother). 

From Bert. 

P. S. Excuse inkyness — this is 
A pen that will squirt! 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


A BOY’S LETTER 

Dear Aunty: I’m writing for mother 
Because she’s so busy to-day. 

She’s sewing on buttons for brother 
And making an apron for May. 

We’re all in the nursery together; 

I wish you were here with us, too. 
We’re having a lot of good weather, 

And school is ’most through. 

Mamma says to tell you she may go 
To visit Aunt May. She can’t tell — 
The cook is in bed with lumbago, 

And Annie can’t cook very well. 

I’m raising some chickens and rabbits, 

I think they are cunning, don’t you? 

I ’ll have time to study their habits, 

For school is ’most through. 

I ’m taking great care with their “menu”; 

I think that I ’ll have some to sell. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. 
I hope that you all are quite well. 


6 



We 're all in the nursery together 




WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


83 


Tell Teddy the boys on our ball team 
Are starting to make up a crew — 

We're beginning to practice the fall team, 

Now school is 'most through. 

I guess I will close. I 've a blister 
Right under the joint of my thumb. 

Mamma sends her love — so does sister. 

“Tell aunty to hurry and come." 

With love, from your nephew. 

Tell Teddy to write when he's nothing to do. 
I 'm planning to play pretty steady 
When school is all through. 



84 WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



“Now I lay me down to sleep” — 
Don’t want to sleep; I want to think. 

I didn’t mean to spill that ink; 

I only meant to softly creep 
Under the desk an’ be a bear — 

’T ain’t ’bout the spanking that I care. 

’F she’d only let me ’splain, an’ tell 
Just how it was an accident, 

An’ that I never truly meant, 

An’ never saw it till it fell. 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


85 


I feel a whole lot worse 'n her; 

I’m sorry, an' I said I were. 

I s’pose if I’d just cried a lot, 

An’ choked all up like sister does, 

An' acted sadder than I wuz, 

An’ sobbed about the “ naughty spot/' 

She'd said, “He shan't be whipped, he shan't" 
An' kissed me — but, somehow, I can’t. 


But I don’t think it’s fair a bit 
That when she talks an' talks at you, 

An' you wait patient till she's through, 

An' start to tell your side of it, 

She says, “Now, that’ll do, my son; 

I've heard enough," 'fore you've begun! 

“ 'F I should die before I wake" — 

Maybe I ain’t got any soul; 

Maybe there's only just a hole 
Where 't ought to be — there's such an ache 
Down there somewhere! She seemed to think 
That I just loved to spill that ink! 


86 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


WHEN 

When you are little and I am big 

I ’ll never work when you want to play, 
I’ll never say, “Darling, run away, 

Go out in the nice white sand and dig,” — 
When you are little and I am big! 

When you are little and I am big 
I’ll give you chocolate for your tea, 

And sugar and marmalade— oh, you’ll see! 
And peppe’mint and caramel and fig, — 
When you are little and I am big! 

When you are little and I am big 
I’ll never undress you till you’re through , 
And always I ’ll go to bed with you, 

And cuddle you “comfy,” and play pig, — 
When you are little and I am big! 




When you are little and I am big 
I 'll never work when you want to play 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



BEDTIME 

When they have put away their toys, 
And washed their face and ears, 
Then all the little girls and boys — 
With neither sobs nor tears — 

Shake out their garments one by one, 
And place them on a chair, 

That they may waken with the sun 
And haply find them there. 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


89 



They take the nightie from the 
nail, 

The slippers from the shelf, 
(How sad, if any child should fail 
To put them there himself!), 
And thus, with neither haste nor 
noise, 

When all their prayers are said, 
Do all the little girls and boys 
Go pleasantly to bed. 


9 o 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


WHO 

Whose hair is all curly, an’ eyes deepes' blue? 
Who wakes up too early, 'fore night time is 
fru'? 

Who dresses her pillow all up in her clothes, 

An' plays wif her piggies when nobody knows? 
An' who's des' as quiet as quiet can be? 
Mother says — ME. 

Who writes wif a pencil all over the book? 

An’ who gets the ink when nobody does look? 
An' who gets her fingies all blacker than black? 
An' who gets ’em spatted when mother comes 
back? 

An’ who’s des' as sorry as sorry can be? 

Mother says — ME. 

Who goes down to dinner on Sundays at two 
All dressed in w'ite frillies, an' tied up in blue? 
An' who waits for father to cut up her meat, 
When she is so hungry, an' nuffin' to eat? 

An' who's des' as patient as patient can be? 
Mother says — ME. 



All dressed in w } tie frillies, an ’ tied up in blue 



9 2 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


Who gets in her nightie and says all her prayers, 
An' then who comes stealin’ an’ creepin’ down- 
stairs? 

Who cuddles up “comfy,” an' teases to stay? 
An’ who is so spoiled ’at she won’t go away 
When she’s des’ as sleepy as sleepy can be? 
Mother says — ME. 



WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



THE TELEPHONE 

Whenever mother telephones 
She talks about a lot of things, 

So father only sits and groans 
Whenever anybody rings. 

“The season's earlier this year." 

“I haven’t got my new straw hat.” 
“I can’t, because my child is here.’’ 
“What did her husband say to that?' 


94 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 



And father only says, “Hello!” 

And takes the ’phone up in his hand. 
“Is that you, Hawkins? This is Snow.’ 

“I wired Chicago. Understand?” 

“I think our man intends to fight, 

But we can best him if we try.” 
“You’d better do so, then, to-night.” 
“See you to-morrow. Well, good-by.’ 


^ -A 


WHEN I 17AS LITTLE 95 

And sister says, “Oh, is that you?” 

And then she fixes up her hair, 

’S if anybody could see through. 

“Oh! Idon’tknow. Oh! I don’t care.” 

“I think I can, if you insist.” 

“And wasn’t yesterday a dream ?” 

“There’s seven on the waiting list.” 

“I do love strawberry ice cream!” 



q6 


WHEN I WAS LITTLE 


But what / do is just to say 
To Annabel, or Lucy White, 

“Can you come over here, and play?” 

And then they answer me, “All right!” 
I hope when I am really grown — 

I’m only seven and a half — 

IT get my friends upon the ’phone, 

And talk and talk, and laugh and laugh. 













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